2
Jan

Armbands for All

   Posted by: admin   in Uncategorized

After a very extensive talk today with my niece (AM) there left no doubt that genetic imprinting of our DNA is strongly interwoven within our family tree.  She is, in many ways, so like me.  She is a tough, strong, intelligent woman.  So am I.  So was my father’s mother, and HER mother, as is my daughter, as is her daughter.  I’m sure there should be some begets and begots in here, but I can’t be bothered to figure out how to work them in.  We are a matriarchal force that will not be ignored.

My niece and I share some very common ground when it comes to suffering fools – we don’t.  People are amazed that I am still single after all these decades.  Not me.  I KNOW why I’m alone.  Do you want the list?

I “see” through men.  I SEE them, what their hearts hold.

I have zero tolerance for falseness.

I believe myself to be intellectually superior to most men I meet.

I am difficult to live with, because basically no man can really teach me anything.

I don’t look at men; I could get side-tracked and end up in a Turkish bath – the inhabitants of which would go unnoticed to me.

I think size matters; as do most women….(sorry guys, Truth is painful).

I could give a rat’s behind what people think of me. (This could be the Aspie in me.)

Once I’m done with a man I am DONE.

I secretly voice alternative conversations in my head if I’m with a guy who is boring.

I am too direct and often hear conversations that go something like this:

Him: Oh my GAWD Jone, you’re SO FUNNY!

ME: (With a deadpan expression) “No, really it’s over!  I’m not going on one more date while your mother insists on coming to dinner, cuts your food, then sits between us at the movies!”

Him: You SLAY meeeeee! (Tears of laughter in his eyes).  So should Mum and I pick you up tomorrow at seven?

I think it would be helpful if everyone wore armbands.  Men AND women.  In this way we could, at a glance, be more diplomatically inclined to gravitate towards people of our own tribe and eliminate all the exhaustive and emotional go-arounds while trying to wade through the honeymoon period of dating.

Armbands with Colour Identifications

Yellow – liar, cheat, bad breath, smoker, alcoholic, drug user, lives at home

Blue – sensitive, likes to go the beach/mountains/hiking, can fix a leaky faucet, enjoys snow shoveling, likes to kill bugs

Red -  has a temper, favorite character in literature Peter Pan, deeply religious with no tolerance for religious beliefs other than their own, bigot/many prejudices

Orange – organic foods only, vegetarian or variation thereof, pet lover, loves children

Half a rainbow – heterosexual on the down low

Grey – likes to borrow your under things, unclear what gender they really are, can decorate your living area better than you can

White – esoteric, avid reader, enjoys museums and an occasional café au lait, thinks facial hair is disgusting

Green – likes to grow things, has long hair, resonates with Native American beliefs, likes to drum, and appreciates international music, owns a didgeridoo

Purple – lives in the Astral plane

I hope this idea of mine catches on – it would make life so much easier by identifying the “Come hithers”  from the “GO aways!”

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31
Dec

Predictions Update

   Posted by: admin   in Uncategorized

On January 14th I made four predictions and promised that today I would revisit them to see how the odds fell out:

President Elect Obama will start out his term of office owning a black dog, but then it will mysteriously disappear and he’ll have to replace it with a brown and white one.

    Bo the dog is black!  But he’s also white…so I’m giving myself a 30% accuracy rate because Bo, the politically correct coloured dog, did not have to be replaced.

    Devastating expansions of the human waistline will occur in 64% of all North Americans in 2009.

      More than 66% of Americans are overweight or obese according to the Center for Disease Control & Prevention statistics released in a December, 2009 New York Times article.  Giving myself a 100% hit rate.

      A major record label that begins with an “S” will go bankrupt and close its doors.

        TVT Records went bankrupt, but that begins with a “T” not “S”.  I’m giving myself a precognitive high five; but can’t take a rating.

        A well-known married couple, who both have won Grammy’s, will terminate their marriage.

          Grammy winners Usher and LeAnn Rimes both divorced this year, unfortunately they were not married to Grammy winners as well.  So what’s fair here?  I’m giving myself 30%.

          Now let’s talk odds.  One in four was on the nose, so that gives me a 25% clear accuracy rate overall.  Out of four questions with justifiable manipulation and interference from planets that were clouded with radioactive-ness that resulted in overshadowing my normal rate of 80% accuracy I am clearly not a seer of future events.

          So happy better you for the coming year!

          This year was a doozy for me, and though it temporarily had me in a Killer Kowalski claw hold, I have managed to crawl out from under the massive weight that tried to pin me for the win and safely secured myself to a corner for the next round.

          Watch out 2010 – get in my way and I will cut you with the light from my eyes.

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          28
          Dec

          Loose Thought

             Posted by: admin   in Uncategorized

          If you’re re-entering the dating game, is it wise to date a guy named Rusty?

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          24
          Dec

          Year End Astrology Thoughts……

             Posted by: admin   in Nancy's Astrology Notes

          Three months of being under the weather has left me depleted and absolutely flattened.  If it wasn’t for Nancy, our resident Astrologer coming to my rescue there would be nothing new to read these past few weeks.

          I am keeping my eye on the ever changing energies of the Universe and how they may impact my life with practical advise and guidance.

          Thank you Nancy!

          Thought I would wind up the year in Astrological terms… and give some hints as to what awaits in the next year….

          The Holiday is upon us, and with all the hectic activity of the last few weeks, I’m sure many are tired, cranky and anxious.  Well, astrologically — you are just where you should be — the Heavens have slowed down the planet Mercury to a standstill, (until it starts to actually retrograde on the 26th) … and a slow Mercury makes for slow travel, correspondence, and mail.  There will be many packages that are delayed until after Christmas.  Many plans may have been put on hold, or visitors that were expected are stuck in airports in the middle of the country.  We cannot change the weather or whatever Mother Nature throws at us — but, we can carry on with our plans as much as possible.

          People are counting on us no matter what the delays or disappointments.  And with Mars also in retrograde motion, there isn’t much sense in getting ourselves in a tizzy over the circumstances.  Things are what they are — and no amount of ire will change the earthly happenings.  Our survival is in the stars — and there is help in many areas — The moon will be in Aries — giving us a boost of energy just when we need it most — there may be an edge to our desire to get it all done as soon as possible — but truly — take a moment to breathe and remember the wonderful meaning of this special time, carry on your activities with more aplomb, and more respect for yourself and your ability to make this time memorable, for all who share it with you.

          On Christmas Day, Venus the planet of love, and those who are special to us, (and sweets), will move into the sign Capricorn — this is a practical and earthy sign that will bring us down to earth and help us recall all of the wonderful celebrations of the past — and all of the love we have for our families both near and far…We will remember the traditions passed down from generation to generation that we hold dear, using Grandmother’s special bowl for our Christmas punch — ornaments from Mom, and those that celebrate each child in their own unique way… the candy canes, cookies, cakes and pies, whose recipes we have used for as long as we can remember.  We recall with love those who have passed through this journey we call life, and we rejoice in those still here with us, able to celebrate this family occasion.

          There are always stressors on these days, but our choice can be to only recall the warm and loving times that have been shared by all — and as Christmas Day winds to a close — there are aspects that will keep us happy, allow us to enjoy all of the creativity and beauty that has gone into making this day a success, and you will awaken with a feeling of joy, satisfaction, and perhaps relief, that another busy and active Holiday has become another wonderful memory, to be stored in our minds and to be brought out when once again the family comes together for happy or sad times — it is the memories that stay sweet and fresh, and any fatigue and stress is forgotten in the wonder of the love you have shared.

          As we have mentioned before — this New Year’s Eve is a doozy!!!  With the Blue Moon in the sign Cancer, our inclination will be to overdue in food and drink — so be aware!  Most of us would prefer to enjoy a taste of the holiday repast, and toast to the coming year without paying the heavy burden of losing a day to feeling sick and terrible — and paying in headaches and stomach aches, for too much indulgence…. The sign Cancer does rule the stomach, and is a water sign — so it will be easy to forget how much champagne we might have sipped, or how many tasty, but rich appetizers we have eaten.  Stay alert and you will enjoy the eve of the New Year and also the beginning of it as well….

          Now we know Mars, and Mercury are in Retrograde motion (Mercury turns direct on the 15th — the day of the New Moon eclipse).  This will cause us to reflect inwardly — and instead of making unwieldy resolutions — perhaps a better path is to try to imagine where we want to go this year.   Where do we want to be by the next Holiday season…?  Saturn also turns retrograde on the 13th, and this will add to our introspection.  It is a wonderful time to re-evaluate our choices of the past year, and our hopes and desires for this New Year.

          The economy will still be fragile for some time to come, and we all will have to tighten our belts this year and be conservative in our spending.  Some of you may be deciding to follow pathways that were closed to you in the past; perhaps a creative new offer will come your way.  Be ready to take these offers seriously and make sure you are prepared with your background and lifetime experiences – even if it was in a volunteer or part-time capacity — you have been noticed and you will shine.  Many will have to make difficult choices in finding new pathways to earn a living… check out all training programs, apply to schools that teach just what you want to learn, and be positive in your attitude — I deserve this break, I am the right person for this position, I am going to succeed in this new field.  You can find your way and be truly fulfilled when it is the true path you are destined to follow.

          This will be a year of challenges, trials and tribulations, but — you can succeed, you can be successful and you can find your Bliss!   Be open to new opportunities, be flexible in your attitude, and be ready to pounce on that quirky or different offer that will lead to happiness and a new way of thinking, living and loving.   You will be successful this year, you are deserving of all good things life has to offer, the opportunity will appear — be ready to enter your very own next chapter with a positive outlook and the excitement that you know in your heart of hearts — this is the moment !!!

          May all of you find and enjoy your very own karmic moment of happiness this New Year –

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          15
          Dec

          New Moon in Sagittarius ~ Dec. 16th

             Posted by: admin   in Nancy's Astrology Notes

          Where would we be this year without our resident Astrologer Nancy?  Her posts and insights help me to navigate life’s rocky waters month to month.  Somehow she has always been the voice of reason for me throughout the decades.  End this year on a positive note by listening to her interpretations of the energies that rain down from the heavens:

          Thought I’d get an early start with the astrological information this month — as it is a busy and active period in the Heavens….

          First there will be a second Full Moon this month — a Blue Moon on December 31st — yep — New Year’s Eve — sure to be a merry-maker of monumental moments..memories… and “migraines”….

          Especially as our friendly planet Mercury goes into Retrograde motion on the day AFTER Christmas — make sure you have all your receipts — especially if returning an item that was a gift — keep the tags ON…. there will be confusion — but it needn’t be a disaster…a little forethought goes a long way — and if you are prepared with all the tags, receipts, and any other confirmation, your efforts will be quick and easy.

          Whew !!!  — Now down to New Moon business — the New Moon crests on December 16th at 7:02 AM in the sign Sagittarius at 24 degrees….  for all you sun sign Sags — it begins a new cycle — especially if born in the later degrees of the sign.  Now we all know Sagittarians are outgoing, great fun, and can be the life of the party…  so it behooves us to be sure to invite a few to our holiday bashes.   This is an upbeat and friendly sign that will help bring us into the holiday spirit, and give us a positive and happy outlook for the upcoming celebrations.  It also has the mantle of sincere spirituality, and we will all feel the enormous pressures that are concurrent in today’s economy, and we will attempt to help those who are less fortunate, alone, or in distress at this time.  It takes so little to perk up someone’s day — a cheery hello, a little card, a phone call, or a plate of cookies.  Take the time to share your good fortune and you will be rewarded ten-fold.

          Now everything isn’t “hunky dory” — there are contrasts that we will have to deal with, Pluto in Capricorn is not playing nicely with Saturn in Libra this month and might spark a few tense moments when reality makes us aware that we cannot do it all — or all by ourselves.   We will feel the need to be in control, and we will be uncomfortable with others making plans for us, or anyone telling us what to do.   There must be some compromises along the way — pick your battles — don’t waste your time on those things that are just not that important — it just becomes exhausting, and we must save our energy for more positive tasks.  We all should try to keep our heads when it comes to spending this year… after scrimping and saving all year long, we feel the need to let loose — but resist this impulse and make sensible lists to sustain your goals without breaking the bank.  Talk to your loved ones and perhaps choose just one person to give to this year — or if necessary ask for help in deciding what would be appropriate — there are so many options today — keep the lines of communication open, and be honest with those you care about.  No one wants you to do all the chores, or go deeper into debt.  Back to basics might be a good theme for this year, that old fashioned, common sense, feet on the ground outlook that gets us through the darkest hours.  There will be joy, and fun, and light — keep it simple — keep it classic — keep it real.

          Mars the planet of passion and action goes into Retrograde motion on the 20th in the sign Leo lasting several months — so any new plans might not go as planned, there might be resistance to what you want to do.  It might be a good time to put on the brakes and reevaluate just exactly what it is that we want to manifest.  Then we must move ahead in a timely manner with all of our “ducks in a row” – serious planning is the way to go — be sure you have all of the facts and then and only then — move onward.

          The New Moon is always a time to write down our affirmations, wishes and any goals we wish to manifest — this New Moon is so important because if comes just before all the activity of the Holidays. All day and evening are great for writing out your wishes. So, it is indeed a great time to make those wishes clear — for a happy and healthy holiday season, for protection for all those who are in peril, and peace for those who are mourning, or anxious, or are in dire need of healing.   Let your wishes reflect all of the deepest desires of your heart and soul.  Feel the energy enter your body as you prepare your list — free your mind of any angst, open your spirit to the highest emanations from the Universe — and marvel at what you can manifest.

          Sagittarius loves freedom, adventure, being optimistic, looking far ahead, sports, being spiritual, and has a deep love of life — infuse your affirmations with some of these wonderful ideals.  Be specific and feel the energy gathering from within and then begin to push these wishes into the ether. They will bear fruit, they will come to pass, you will be in control of your future.

          With Mercury in retrograde, and the 2nd Full Moon on New Year’s Eve in the sign Cancer, it is a wonderful time to look back and reflect on the past, family ties, and traditions, and hone in on our future goals, wishes and desires.

          However, since many of us will be celebrating and partying on this New Year’s evening — be aware that Cancer is a water sign that rules the stomach, and any overindulgence in food or drink will have some of us reaching for those products that promise “quick” relief.   Water rules emotions and they might overflow with all manner of feelings.  And with Mercury Rx — make sure your plans are fixed in stone — or confusion will entail — double check all of the details and you will be fine.  Enjoy the festivities of these wonderful Holidays with élan — my wish for all of you is that you have a safe Holiday Season, and one in which the memories will be warm for many years to follow.

          Eat ~ Drink ~ and be Merry ~~ and may the Spirit of these magical days reach deep within you and ease your worries, enliven your daily life, and enrich your soul… Blessings to all.

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