I have this friend who epitomizes the title Earth Mother.  She is sweet, an awesome mother to her sons, and will recognize herself in this post.   I will refer to her as EMF, as in Earth Mother Friend.  Recently EMF treated herself to a little trip to a local feel good location that specializes in uplifting books, energy work and yummy healthy food.

While she was there a massage therapist approached her and started to massage her hands, and then briefly moved to the back of her neck and shoulders, all the while explaining that this is where tension and stress is held.

Well, EMF emailed me and wanted to know if the quickie massage could have touched off any emotional triggers because she cannot help but think of loved ones who have passed away and now keeps crying and feeling sad.  AND she experienced a SPLITTING headache the next day.

After sending a couple of emails back and forth to each other I’ve concluded that my very knowledgeable EMF had quickly been taken advantage of, because her initial gut feeling  was to NOT have this stranger touch her.

I have seen this before.  So before dashing off emails informing me that the therapist must have released some toxins built up in her, and that her sadness and headache was a good sign – I’m here to ring the bell of nonsense.  A body worker, while working on you, will most definitely set off triggers held deep within the body.  That’s what you compensate a therapist for – the work; the follow-up call or visit; the assurance your healing process is being monitored by someone who cares and demonstrates compassion.

This is my stance on unsolicited people wanting to “help you” out of your stress without being asked to.  Say no.

There are incredible masseuses out there, along with Reiki Masters, energy workers, Chi Gong practitioners, acupressurists, Tu Nai…and on and on the list goes.  New Age (for lack of a better word) stores and establishments are filled with people who want to “help you”.   Don’t assume a body worker is a clear channel or the right person to perform this work on you.

When someone touches you they are making a connection, it needs to be a relationship of trust.  The message your intuition is delivering when you do not want an encroaching energy worker to lay their lands on you is your innate defense mechanism.  As women, we don’t want to hurt someones feelings, but what does it say about the person who does not respect professional boundaries?  Take your power back ladies and gentlemen – speak up!

Massage, energy work, etc. must be completed from start to finish.  There are no quickies in energy and healing work.  Would a medical doctor approach you in a bookstore and start examining you?  Would a dentist approach you in a yoga class and say, open wide, I think I detect TMJ and can help you.  I think not.

Take responsibility for your own well-being.

Know who is touching you.  Is this a stranger or someone who is recommended?

Ask for their credentials.

What school did they graduate from and are they licensed in the state where you live?

How long have they been doing this work?

How can you contact their references?

Listen to your instincts, your gut feelings.

Never, ever apologize if you do not resonate with a body worker; simply say no thank you.

Were triggers released for EMF? – Yes.

Was the massage therapist being less than professional in imposing themselves in an effort to impress? – Yes.

Was this a lesson for all of us to be more discriminate in who we entrust our energy to?  Absolutely.

Why do we allow a stranger to violation our personal space just because they are labeled “healer”?

Reflect.

Tags: body worker, credible body workers, dentist, massage, massage therapist, medical doctor, new age store, Reiki Master, relationship of trust, taking responsibility